It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one way to be born into a new life: to die before death.
Change means dying, letting go of what has become a familiar habit, what gives us safety – from outer objects to what we hold on to internally like concepts about ourselves. Who am I, and what of that can change, what will always stay the same and never be unhinged? What are the core pieces of my identity? And what would happen, when these pieces change?
I meet the border to the void at the point where all concepts by which my life had been adjusted to a raster have gone lost, light as the clouds in the sky. There are no more coordinates which indicate my position, as the zero point has started to wander. Thus I die into the moment of emptiness, free and unbound like a bird, lofted out of all the gravities
Internally free I am only then, when I am willing to allow myself being changed permanently, which is to totally trust into all that life has planned for me, without resistance and stubbornness. Yet what does it entail to give up my obstinacy? Would I just conform like a piece of laundry on the clothes line to every breeze? Would I just do what others want me to? Who or what is this life I should surrender to?
Life is what permanently changes, what starts every day anew and in an unprecedent form. What remains the same is our idea and concept of this life. We act as if the bed we get out in the morning were the same we have climbed in before the night. Yet wherefrom do we take this certainty? As far as we are concerned, we hardly can deny that we are different from the ones who have gone to bed, enriched by dreams and regeneration, or burdened by irritation and unrest.
To tune in to the changes of life is probably the highest art of living we can acquire as humans. The question remains on which wave offered by life we should jump and which we should let roll by, because it is not meant for us? As soon as we ask for a rule which should tell us what to do and what to leave, we are off the track. There is no rule according to which life would serve us the respective best on a silver plate. All we can do is look from one moment to the next what life is offering and pay attention to what impulses come from inside.
The more we become liberated from our conditioned desires and the expectations and illusions fueled by them, the clearer we can make an internal distinction: What feels coherent and what would distract me from my destination? Life will offer us in every moment the feedback for our decision and for our actions and presents us the next crossroad.
As this life is an interaction of inside and outside, as this life works inside of us all the time, there is nothing like a wrong decision, a false action, a failed life, no errors and meanders. Our internal world with its processes of evaluation and decision making is simply a part of the whole orchestra and appears only to our short sightedness as something that just belongs to us, and that it runs according to a totally different logic in a totally different place as the outside world. Rather life works through us by offering the ratings of the outside and the orientations for action derived from them.
Seemingly we can miss our lives when we do not perceive what life has for us in the moment. The feeling of boredom serves as indicator on what we are overlooking right now, an important surprise presented to us. So instead of dropping into boredom or hectically searching for distraction to overcome it, we can look for the gift of this very moment – a swallow flying by, a raindrop bursting on the windowpane, a breath feeling fresh …
Yet seemingly missing life is part of life, a part which decreases the more awareness grows. Awareness means that we include the changes of life into our view and that we follow it consciously, while leaving all which seems unchanging, on the edges of our vision. As soon as the unchanging aspects of life push to the foreground, we have lost the awareness of the moment and find ourselves in the thinking mode, presumably governed by a fear pattern.
Awareness means also, that every moment lets the prior die, that nothing can be saved from the past and that every moment is an absolute fresh beginning, opening a new time and creating a new man. So we die in every moment, as soon as we become conscious. We learn to die and learn by dying so that the “big” death will be no surprise or shock.
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