Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 November 2022

Capitalism and Socialism: Fear Orientation vs. Shame Orientation

 Our Future and Four Horror Narratives

Looking into the future is sometimes done with hope and confidence, but sometimes also with concern and fear. These worries and fears are based on current experiences and facts that we have gathered from various information channels. The emotional charge of these images of the future comes from our childhood and prenatal experiences, as well as from collective traumas from history.

We can distinguish four different scenarios, all of which overlap and interact with each other somewhere, but which are also served, propagated and reinforced separately by political parties and groups: 

  • the scenario of a desolidarized society
  • the scenario of a society flooded from outside
  • the scenario of dwindling prosperity
  • the scenario of a destroyed nature.

The first narrative is about social inequality. It is an ancient theme of humanity that has arisen at least since the transition from tribal cultures to arable cultures about 10,000 years ago. Many fairy tales and legends deal with the hard-hearted rich and the suffering poor. Since industrialization, the problem has massively intensified, and political movements under the banner of socialism and communism have emerged, dedicated to the struggle for greater social justice.

Since that time, the facts show a permanently increasing divergence between the accumulation of wealth by the very few on the one hand and the working poverty, old-age poverty, single-parent poverty and unemployment poverty of the very many on the other, with a middle class in between that is increasingly in danger of slipping into poverty. The climate crisis adds another dimension to this development, because it has a completely different impact when someone has to survive the heat in a crowded slum under a corrugated iron roof or in a secluded and fully air-conditioned villa by the sea. Life courses, dates of death, and causes of death are significantly influenced by position in the social fabric, which is defined by the imbalance in the disposal of material resources. Those who are rich not only live better, but also longer.

The Indispensability of Social Balance

Reason tells us that a certain degree of social balance is needed for people to be able to form a community. Not everyone needs to earn the same amount or have the same wealth, but there must be a framework within which the differences operate, as well as permeabilities that allow for equality or comparability of opportunity. For otherwise there is a danger that society will fall apart and a war of all against all will break out, or that there will be a closing off of the happy few in their fortified ghettos from the mass of the badly off. A dynamic balance between performance norms and individual strengths and weaknesses is necessary to reduce the stress of survival for the individuals and to make the creative potential that is in all people available for each other and for a humane development.

It is also easy to understand that during crises and disasters, those who are socially and monetarily weaker suffer even more severely than those who can do better because of their means. At the time of the rush of refugees and asylum seekers to Central Europe, there were the wealthy who fled from the refugees to their vacation domicile on the Balearic or Canary Islands. There were and are similar departures in the current pandemic times. The climate crisis, like any other, is always also a social crisis.

Horror Scenarios and Ideologies

Horror narratives are designed to wake up humanity and motivate it to act. But they have a tendency to become loaded with ideologies - as long as there are unresolved emotional energies behind the reasonable concerns, i.e. mainly fears and feelings of shame.

The ideological ballast comes to light where the background and causes of the imbalance are mythologized by identifying apparent masterminds behind developments. Either it is a few conspirators who pull the strings and play with people's fate, or it is "capitalism" that steers humanity to its downfall with its destructive power. When it comes to responsibility for "evil," social revolutionaries tend to use truncated concepts. In this way, the complex systems that drive these developments are reduced to simple images of the enemy, which then appear so overpowering that there seems to be no basis for political counter-activity and anything done to improve the situation or correct the destructive tendencies can be dismissed as a symptom cure. The ideology, which goes back to Karl Marx, says that the whole society must be overturned in order to do away with the specter of capitalism. Until that can be done, everything will only get worse, because even any attempt at reform will stabilize capitalism and make it more resistant.

But the communist revolution, when we overlook the history of modern times, has never really and fundamentally succeeded. Today, the capitalist system operates unabated throughout the world, and one of its strongest powers is the communist People's Republic of China. Communism (or "real existing socialism"), as it has appeared in history, is a system of rule that establishes power structures and controls and suppresses possible opponents. The economy serves as a field of experimentation that is tinkered with using the instruments of power. Experience has shown that any attempt to completely subordinate capitalism to political power has had disastrous effects on economic performance. This was a major reason why the communist system in Eastern Europe went down without a sound in 1989. It was not possible to look that quickly, already many of the former standard bearers of socialism became the most successful capitalists. 

Chinese communism produced famines and other economic disasters as long as attempts were made to eradicate capitalism with political power. Only when more and more capitalist elements were allowed in did economic successes then set in, and with it corruption of previously unknown proportions.

No Communism with Traumatized People

Karl Marx understood much of the nature of capitalism, but his conclusion that capitalism must be eliminated by revolution of the oppressed masses was short-sighted. What Marx overlooked was the interwoven nature of capitalism into the human condition. (Karl Marx was not familiar with psychology and even less with trauma theory). Capitalist thought and action is an aspect of being human and is intimately connected to the emotional drives of fear and greed. Psychologically, capitalism represents the playground of a widespread survival strategy: Coping with the fear of one's own extinction through the accumulation of goods. Paradoxically, fear increases further when more security is to be created from the life threats posed by greed-led acts of accumulation. Fear begets greed, and greed increases fear. Thus, capitalism only mirrors fear management and in reality reproduces it constantly.

As we have seen, we can understand capitalism as the interactive system driven by the emotions of fear and greed, which has developed from it a life of its own that can no longer be controlled by single individuals. Everyone is subjected to it, no one can completely escape its pull, and consequently everyone also participates in ensuring that the power of the capitalist system continues to grow. (We all have to buy food and other goods that are produced and distributed within the framework of capitalism. With every price we pay, we consent to these conditions of production and distribution. We all have to earn our living and sell our labor power, thus agreeing to the rules of the labor market and wage labor).

Capitalism thus arises as a community product that operates supra-individually. It is composed of the sum of people's actions motivated by capitalism. Therefore, capitalism cannot simply be destroyed; this is the illusion through which communist ideas become an ideology. People and their emotional survival strategies remain the same whatever system is installed on the political level. People do not lose their fears and greed as a way of coping with fear, merely if the political and economic system is regulated differently. Every communist dictator and apparatchik is historical proof of this.

So capitalism is not a historical error or an evil power that has come over humanity, but the collective creative attempt of humanity to ensure its survival from a certain stage of complexity of social development (I have described it as the fifth stage of the evolution of consciousness). It takes a delicate balance of individual and social motives at each stage to ensure collective survival. The predominance of individual survival incentives over collective ones in the capitalist system shows its roots in people's primal fears. For fear always calls attention to the threat to one's own life from others. In fear, other people become hostile and dangerous beings to us.

From the point of view of psychology, in capitalism the fear of shame holds sway. Shame demands social consideration in one's acts of survival: When we behave selfishly in an emergency situation, for example, when we crowd onto the last boat before others in a shipwreck, shame calls in. When intensive care beds are in short supply during a pandemic, we must do everything we can to avert the shame that arises when we fail to do everything humanly possible to cure the sick.

The threatening potential of capitalism lies in the fact that it has succeeded in largely disempowering shame. It is not by chance that the most shame-free people are at the top of capitalist machinations. This is precisely why we need shame-driven systems that balance the power of fear-driven systems. Only in this way will there be a balance at the level of survival impulses. 

Here we see the indispensable task of socialism. If the counterforces against capitalism are not maintained and strengthened, fear-driven individualism inevitably takes over, and the principle of solidarity goes out the window. The freely unleashed struggle of everyone against everyone is the beginning of the end of humanity. In contrast, socialism demands solidarity between the stronger and the weaker, between the richer and the poorer. There is a deeply human need for balance between top and bottom, and massive anxieties arise when it is disregarded.  

Capitalism not only promises security for one's survival anxieties by generally increasing wealth, but at the same time feeds them by demanding more and more from people. This is the destrucitve feedback system for which people in industrial and post-industrial society have to pay an increasing toll of physical and, increasingly, mental exploitation. Here, too, a socialized shame reports back, pointing to the shame that, despite the amazing achievements of modern luxury societies, the quality of life and life satisfaction have not increased, but that people are afflicted by new fears, by greed, envy, arrogance and self-doubt.

Fear Orientation and Shame Orientation in Interplay

As long as there is no awareness that capitalism is driven by fear and socialism by shame, the distribution of power will swing back and forth between the two forces. At one time one will rule, at another time the other will rule. For the electorate vacillates just as much between these patterns of emotion, which they both carry within them. In the meantime, many socialists have become a little more capitalist and some capitalists a little more shamefaced. But the basic structure has not changed: The anxieties that capitalism pretends to reduce are actually increased by pressures on individuals. It is similar with the shame that is supposed to be calmed under socialism: It seeks other fields of activity once social balance is realized on a broader basis. 

An example is the (shameless) surveillance of individuals, which was installed in all communist states. It was intended to maintain a sense of shame among people so that they would subordinate their individual aspirations, their egoisms, to the collective. In reality, however, the power-hungry egoists in the ruling power apparatus prevailed over the subjects, often with extreme physical and mental cruelty.  

Another typical example is formed by the forced self-shaming performed as rituals of power affirmation in these systems: The absurd confessions of defendants in the Stalinist show trials and the forced self-criticism of officials under Chinese communism testify to the instrumentalization of shame for the purposes of maintaining power and suppressing individual freedoms.

Contemporary China also demonstrates the interplay between a capitalist and a socialist dictatorship. After recently growing the Chinese economy at record rates and producing more and more billionaires, the government now seems to be steering back in the shame direction. Shame barriers are being imposed on the entertainment industry, large corporations are being reprimanded, and rampant working hours are being restricted. Under the rubric of "general prosperity," the social side of Chinese socialism is being reactivated. 

Beyond the Survival Pattern: Optimism instead of Horror

The horror of the scenario of a society diverging along the wealth gap only clears when the influence of ideology fades from the contexts. Ideologies tend to produce a reality-distorting black-and-white view and friend-foe thinking. The unprejudiced view of reality enables the actions necessary to counteract desolidarization and bring to bear the social intentions inherent in every human being. The commitment to greater social justice at all levels is then not driven by shame, but by the desire for a just and humane society, a deeply human concern. It is a concern that must be formulated, demanded and urged again and again for the sake of a just society.

Much has already been achieved on this path, much is still open and must be tackled with all our strength. Many people are committed to these issues. There is much cause for optimism, and this is the attitude that releases and focuses energies.     


Thursday, 12 October 2017

Emotional Blackmail

US Psychologist Susan Forward has coined the term „emotional blackmail“ for describing a pattern of dysfunctional relationships, in which one person tries to control the behaviour of the other person by addressing fears and producing guilt feelings and thus enforce his/her own will onto the other person.

Emotional blackmail can happen in any kind of relationship: between lovers, parents and children, friends, relatives, but also in a working environment. Although it looks as if the blackmailer would be the bad guy, emotional blackmail only works when the victim plays his/her role. Both sides are controlled by emotional schemes created in early childhood, which shape the respective patterns of behaviour, so usually the blackmailer does not notice how he acts, rather he thinks he has no alternative and is right. Equally, the victim thinks that she has no other chance as to give in to the pressure to avoid worse things to happen.

Four Types of Emotional Blackmail


The punisher:
He tells the victim exactly what he wants and which consequences the other person has to face when she does not comply. He can play his role aggressively or by silently withdrawing. Yet his anger is directly pointing at the victim when his demands are not fulfilled.
The self-punisher:
She directs her threats towards herself and tells the victim what she will do to herself when she does not get what she wants.
The sufferer: He has a talent in finger-pointing and addressing guilt feelings in the victim. He requires the victim to find out what he needs. He assumes that the other always has to take care of him so that his needs can be met.
The tantalizer: She presents tests to the partner and promises wonderful rewards when he passes.

All types share the strategy to work with conditional phrases for enforcing their needs: When you do not A, B will happen. Or: Only when you do A, B can be avoided and C will happen. Conditions narrow the activity space of the other person, who then only has the option of accepting or rejecting.

Six Typical Phases of Emotional Blackmail


1. Demand
A partner in a relationship shares a wish to the other person and strives with all means for getting what he wants. Thus, the wish becomes a demand. Often the wish is presented in a way that it should also be in the interest of the partner and that it is indispensable for the development of the relationship.

2. Resistance
The other partner reacts with resistance as he feels overpowered or disrespected.

3. Pressure
The blackmailing partner increases the pressure e.g. by bringing the issue up again and again and by insisting on the fulfillment of the demand. Devaluations can be used like: You are so egotistic. Unconsciously, the intention is to produce guilt feelings in the partner, which could motivate him to do what the blackmailer wants. Another strategy consists in comparing the partner with other people who would act according to the demands of the blackmailer or who hold the same standards and values. Thus, the partner should get a feeling of being wrong.

4. Threats
When resistance persists in the sense of not complying with the demand, consequences are depicted as threats. Drastically is described what would happen, when the wish, which has become a demand, is not fulfilled.

5. Subjection
Some partners react with giving in at this point. Yet they unconsciously stay in resentment. They decline their will-power for the sake of peace in the relationship. But this harmony is shaky.

6. Repetition
The blackmailing partner is content and happy, and the other partner is glad about the harmony, although an underlying unpleasant feeling remains. The blackmailer has learned a way to pursue his aims. The partner has understood how he can put an end to the pattern of demand, pressure and threat quickly: By subjection and resignation. In this way, the doors are open for repeating the pattern.

The Emotional Atmosphere


Everyone has encountered states of fear, obligation and guilt. We all know many different kinds of fear, which all have to do with relationship in the core. As infants, we were dependent on other people to take care of us. So we developed fears, which should warn us for risking these crucial relationships. From there, the sense of obligation emerged, which has its constructive sides in taking responsibility for people around us when needed. But in its unconscious form, obligation feels like pressure and burden. Guilt feelings remind us of mistakes we made and of situations we would like to revert. They all have to do with hurting someone and risking a relationship.

In general, we have learned to deal with these feelings, yet in the case of emotional blackmail, these feelings get instrumentalized for a power struggle in the relationship. Blackmailers increase the energetic load and pressure by becoming louder, quicker and more intense, trying to overpower the victim, which tends to comply in any way just to return to a normal atmosphere of communication. The victim reacts, dominated by a FOG of feelings: Fear, Obligation and Guilt. This reaction becomes automatic like holding the ears when someone starts to scream. The victim has little chance to reflect and just can react – and this is the key to effective emotional blackmail.

Although it looks like a well-planned process, most blackmailers produce this fog of fear, obligation and guilt without being aware of it.

How to activate fears:
Act the way I want it, and I will not leave you, I will not scream at you, I will not devaluate you; but if you do not give in, you will have to bear the consequences.

How to address feelings of obligation:

•    A good daughter should spend time with her mother.
•    I am working day and night for this family, so I can expect at least that you are present, when I come home.
•    The boss is always right, so obey. 


An example for the dynamics of guilt-feelings:
1.    I tell a friend that I cannot go to the cinema tonight with her.
2.    She is upset.
3.    I feel terrible and am convinced that it is my fault that she is upset. I feel as if I were a bad person.
4.    I cancel my other appointment se we can go to the cinema together. She feels better, and I feel better because she feels better.

Stopping Emotional Blackmail


The victim of blackmail has to resolve the fog of fear, obligation and guilt. These feelings have emerged in the course of infancy as survival strategies; in grown-up life, they lead to the trap of blackmail. When fears are replaced by the power of self-assertion, when feelings of diffuse obligation become conscious responsibility and guilt-feelings are turned into self-acceptance, the blackmailer has no more chance. Either he quits his strategy, or the victim quits the relationship.

Literature: Susan Forward, Donna Frazier: Emotional Blackmail. When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You. Morrow Paperback, 1998

Thursday, 24 March 2016

The Evil Outside and Within

Why is it so appalling when innocent people become victims of violent crimes? Eventually we all have to die some day - whether from aggressive cancer cells, malvolent viruses or a bomb, would not make much of a difference to us whenever it happens. Yet for those who watch destructive acts of human life it is a lot worse when someone dies of an unnatural death. Unnatural means as much as man-made. We are horrified when humans cause the death of other humans.

This horror is connected to our social conditioning. As social beings, we are depended on one another and need a minimum of good-will for our common survival. Now when somone for whatever reason violates this basic norm by sacrificing the life of other people for their own purposes, they irritate all the others who are still in the frame of the basic norm. For the basic norm only works when all join in and participate actively. Every exemption threatens the cohesion of the whole social body. Even the members of terror groups know that principle, as they do not tolerate murder in their own ranks.

In the first place, the insecurity is relieved by the society of the good-willed as they move closer together and call on the responsibility of those who have left the frame. Yet the fear persists as it can happen any time that individuals or groups behave violently and kill innocent people. Presumably this is one of the aims of the evil doers to increase insecurity, as insecurity leads to singularisation. With increasing fear, people first withdraw to smaller groups where they still can feel trust. When fear reaches a higher degree, they more and more feel they can only rely on themselves and want to save their own skin. The bigger the fear, the larger the disintegration of society. 

Terror groups themselves are afraid of societies which work with a minimal level of good-will. So they find their best ways for destabilising and disempowering their enemies, the democratic and liberal societies, in random attacks and haphazard assaults - spreading fear and splitting up common sense. A fragmented society cannot provide any resistance to the evil as there are no more valid and accepted norms. Under such circumstances, those with sufficient means of violence can satisfy their greed for power.

The propagandistic fear-makers in our societies support this fragmentation. They want people to step out of the shared consensus and join their seperatist group, which offers an exclusive safety from the evil. The good ones are inside and the evil ones get exluded safely with high walls. Many fearful people prefer a life in a bunker to the risk of encountering the evil in the free space. 

So it is crucial that we adopt the responsibility for our fears. We are not their victims but we create them inside of us by falling into confusion and trance by images we see and words we hear. When we explore our fears we realise that their roots are deeper, reaching back to insafeties in our childhood, which get triggered by actual events. We do not have to be dominated by these old fears as soon as we can face them. When we go a step further, we also realise that the evil we perceive on the outside e.g. as violence against innocent people, is existing inside of us as well. It is a derivate of our fears and wants to destroy the trigger of our fears to be freed from the fear.

Thus we might realise that we are not at all "better" than the evil ones but that with some luck we made our landing in relative safety and wealth. So we do not have to act out of our fears and destructive impulses but can enjoy a certain degree of choice and freedom. By gaining more inner peace, the evil on the outside loses any power over our inner world. This is the path of inner reconciliation, which leads us out of fear and insecurity. Now we can fulfill our tasks and responsibilities in society with clarity and strength and meet the evil on the outside with determination.