Wednesday 22 June 2011

Rule 9: The Gifts of Patience

Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.  What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so short-sighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lover’s of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.


Impatience arises as soon as time becomes a scarce good. Time becomes a scarce good, when societies move away from the rhythms of nature. In nature, there is time for everything for all that is needed. Nature is neither patient nor impatient. It is only the human mind which imposes a time scheme on top of all that happens so everything becomes measurable. All which is measured is presented in numbers. Numbers are totally unnatural, this is why we call them digital. Numbers constantly run on without goal or end. After each number there is another one. We never arrive, we are never done, we always have to move on. This is the source of impatience.

The domination of time is in reality the dominance of time. The human mind has invented a scheme by which we enslave ourselves. One look at the watch, and our bodies are in a state of alarm. Impatience is a form of self imposed stress directed by a must, by a pressure which forces us on pain of consequences.

It is as if our bodies would signal constantly: Nu rush, everything with ease. But our neurotic minds force our bodies up to the point that it considers stress as normal. Without stress, nothing would work and boredom would break out.

When we are under pressure and stress, we become short-sighted (some people notice that literally with their eyesight), we only see things in front of our noses. Our vision narrows and we cannot recognise what is beyond. From the polyvagal theory we know that also our hearing is narrowed, so we only hear deeper frequencies below the human communication channels. So in stress we overhear what is important for us.

The materialistic consciousness causes the institutionalisation of impatience. Any minute is precious, any lost minute is a loss, presented in numbers. Every minute has to be filled up; when one moment stays empty, fear of having missed something arises. Those who are impatient are successful, those who are patient miss history.

Often patience is mistaken for agonising. Someone who is patient is someone who lets everything happen without actively interfering. Thus, as person like that gets easily overrun by the events. We hardly can imagine that something which goes slow or someone who is waiting and waiting could make sense. This is how strongly we are kept under the heels of the materialistic boosters who tell constantly what chances we could miss as soon as we start to relax.

But someone who is really patient harbours trust in self development and self organisation in everything which of importance. He is tuned in to the processes in nature which is managing everything according to an inner timing. He is perfect in disengaging from the coercive mechanisms of the collective lunacy. Instead of staring at his watch, he observes the birds on the trees which do not sow and reap and yet are nourished by their heavenly father.

„All of importance happens by itself“ is one of the wisdoms of the patient person. She has so often experienced that hectic activity can destroy more than deliberate waiting for the right moment and the right action. Or that waiting has lead to seeing that the problem has been resolved to nothing by itself. When we relax while waiting and enjoy the gap in time instead of becoming nervous, we can be gifted by an ample horizon in which surprises and miracles appear out of nowhere.



The rules are taken from Elif Shafak's novel “The Forty Rules of Love” (Viking 2010). They are inspired by the Sufi tradition and worded by the autor's imagination. www.elifshafak.com

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